Golf Jokes One Liners

Golf Jokes One Liners

Over the years golf has brought a lot of enjoyment to millions of people including Presidents, Celebrities and Golfers alike, so in this article golf jokes one liners I have scoured the internet to find some of the best ones for you, some of them are tongue in cheek but none the less humorous and witty – Enjoy!

Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself – Joe Torre

Confidence in golf means being able to concentrate on the problem at hand with no outside interference – Tom Watson

You know, the Oscar I was awarded for The Untouchables is a wonderful thing, but I can honestly say that I’d rather have won a U.S. Open Golf Tournament – Sean Connery

I’m a golfer, and what are the two sports you can do till you drop? Golf and surfing. They’re great for you to limber-wise, they’re great for you health-wise, and they put you in sweet locations – Matthew McConaughey

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win – Phil Mickelson

No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such a carefully planned way. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfer’s mind – Tom Watson

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course – Hank Aaron

 Golf Jokes One Liners - Ronald ReaganTo find a man’s true character, play golf with him – P.G. Wodehouse

To be consistently effective, you must put a certain distance between yourself and what happens to you on a golf course. This is not indifference, it’s detachment – Sam Snead

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators – Gerald Ford

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing – Ben Hogan

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf – Bob Hope

Golf is evolving, every day, every shot – Tiger Woods

My golf is woeful but I will never surrender – Bing Crosby

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken – Raymond Floyd

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron – Lee Trevino

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake – Henry Youngman

How can you get tired of playing golf – Raymond Floyd

Confidence is king in golf – Jason Dufner

The only time my prayers are never answered is on a golf course – Billy Graham

Golf is a game in which one endeavours to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose – Woodrow Wilson

To play well you must feel tranquil and at peace. I have never been troubled by nerves in golf because I felt I had nothing to lose and everything to gain – Harry Vardon

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law – H.G. Wells

Golf….is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well – P.G. Wodehouse

I understand why marriages break up over golf. I can’t even talk about my own handicap because it’s too upsetting – Shia LaBeouf

Golf Jokes One Liners - Clown FaceFind a good teacher that will keep the game fun. Work hard and don’t be afraid to have success or disappointment. That is what golf is all about – Paula Creamer

I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous – Larry David

There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls – Lee Trevino

Golf is a good walk spoiled – Mark Twain

Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character – Arnold Palmer

Golf is meaningless, but it means so much – Dennis Quaid

I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone’s game. It’s called an eraser – Arnold Palmer

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘Fore’, shoot six, and write down five – Paul Harvey

Golf is a game, and games are meant to be enjoyed – Raymond Floyd

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible – Jean Giraudoux

Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will – Henry Cotton

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result – Tommy Armour

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun – Jim Bishop

Do your best, one shot at a time and then move on. Remember that golf is just a game – Nancy Lopez

I regard golf an expensive way of playing marbles – Gilbert K. Chesterton

I do not let a bad score ruin my enjoyment for golf – Darrell Royal

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness – William Wordsworth

I’m addicted. I’m addicted to golf – Tiger Woods

The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two – Bobby Jones

But in the end, it’s still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can’t shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you’ve missed the point – Payne Stewart

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball – Jack Lemmon

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball – Dave Berry

As we all know….golf is a puzzle without an answer – Gary Player

Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course…the space between your ears – Bobby Jones

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? – Al Boliska

Golf is a thinking man’s game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if don’t know what to do with them, you’ve got troubles – Chi Chi Rodriguez

The next time I cry about golf it will only be with joy. It’s not worth crying over golf for any other reason. After all, it’s only a game – Rory McIlroy

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad – A.A. Milne

Golf is a search for perfection, for balance. It’s about meditation and concentration. You have to use hand and brain – Celine Dion

Golf, like measles, should be caught young – P.G. Wodehouse

Golf is a better game played downhill – Jack Nicklaus

It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realise that – Bobby Jones

You should welcome getting older in golf. With greater knowledge of your swing, you, too, can keep improving – Angel Cabrera

Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place – Ben Crenshaw

Golf is a game of respect and sportsmanship, we have to respect its traditions and its rules – Jack Nicklaus

I found golf late in life, in 1990. I took some lessons and struggled. Then one day, I hit a drive that was so crisp and clean, with no vibration. There’s no feeling like it. I was hooked – Dennis Quaid

In golf, it’s almost impossible to be perfect on each shot, that’s the fun and challenge of golf – Yani Tseng

Golf is a game of ego, but it is also a game of integrity, the most important thing is you do what is right when no one is looking – Tom Watson

Fame is addictive. Money is addictive. Attention is addictive. But golf is second to none – Marc Anthony

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf – Robert Wilson Lynd

Golf is social. It brings a lot of people together – Mia Hamm

There are two things you can do with your head down – play golf and pray – Lee Trevino

If you are going to talk negative about a place, you’re almost throwing yourself out, to begin with because golf is a mental game – Jordan Spieth

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I’m able to tell a joke. I thank God I’m good at something – Ray Romano

A round of golf is the ideal antidote to stress – Bruce Forsyth

I always thought of myself as some form of athlete until I started playing golf a couple of years ago – James Caan

I hope you enjoyed these one-liners from well-known people, I will surely be putting a few more together in the not too distant future.

In a recent article Golf Drills to improve your game in the comfort of your own home, CLICK HERE to read the article and watch the videos.

As always if you have any comments or feedback regarding this article golf jokes one-liners please do not hesitate to leave a comment below, I will be glad to respond to any responses received.

 

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